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Saturday, May 21, 2011

things my kids/grandkids love to do:

climb

jump

hang over balconies and stairs

watch movies

be sprayed with sprinklers while planting a crazy-quilt garden

choose and cook their own special food from the supermarket

swim swim swim swim

play house

squabble

ride bikes

dance in the rain

eat popcorn and cookies and chips and drink pepsi (i know, evil)

wake up at the crack of dawn

fight over who gets the top bunk

dress up in different clothes several times a day

sleep in the last outfit they were wearing at bedtime

read books

have books read to them

joy-rides in the car (even the pukers want to come along)

icecream as a food group

wrestle with daddy/papa

...that's just the beginning of the list i've accumulated and observed over the last 40 years...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

safe

midnight

the lighting blasts away the night

and the thunder of the crashing clouds rolls and booms and cracks the sky

rain lashes the fields like ocean waves

so hard it splashes into my bedroom from the balcony

i'm sitting up in bed sleepless

the thrill of a night storm has woken me

and stirred the muse...

beside me in the warm bed

little girl tosses

reaches

rolls into me

and i wrap her soft in daddy's blanket

he'll be home tomorrow, sweetheart

we're safe

storms are for sharing snug and warm places

the mist films my computer screen

and i gently put it away

the swish and swoop of the thrashing heavens

kissing it goodbye

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

growing...

waiting for the trees to grow...watching every day as i water them for signs of life...but it's hot hot summer so not much is happening.

they are waiting for the rain.

their wilting leaves lift thirsty little faces up to the sky as if begging for moisture, even though i am pouring water onto the roots.

rain.

wetness, life-giving moisture.

we all need it.

my soul lifts a thirsty face to the sky and begs for the refreshing liquid that will not only quench my parching need but will wash me and cool me and bring life.

oh, how we need water. too much sun without the counterpart of nature will kill. we love sunshine, but we also need those times of the wild pouring rain to sweep and blow and thrash us clean.

hold on, little trees, rainy season is coming...hold on...

Monday, May 9, 2011

a safe place

my new bedroom is the color of cream when it rises to the top of a pail of fresh cow's milk. an almost butter sort of color, soft and gentle.

for some reason, i feel safe in this room, within these beautiful walls.

it must have been a color of my childhood- because with it comes the scent of new wood, and the sound of an accordion playing, and the memory of sunlight glinting on green leaves.

a safe and restful place, now...one that i need...

Sunday, May 8, 2011

a special day

my little girl came walking in the house yesterday with her arms full...a beautiful yellow orchid waving above her little black ponytail.

walked straight up to me in full view of a house-full of workmen, and in a loud, brave voice, said

"happy mother's day, mommy!"

then ran and buried her little face in my lap for awhile.

oh, my emma.

child of my heart, child of my old age, child of my dreams and hopes and fears...

to be your mama, precious little daughter, is a joyful surprise i never knew i'd have.

God is so funny.

and i am so grateful.

i have had a lovely mother's day...surrounded by a loving husband, children and grandchildren and special people who also call me mom.

i've been hugged, kissed, cried on, laughed on, and in general just loved today.

i'm so grateful.

i know for many women this is a hard day. some of us have children in heaven, some of us have wayward children, some of us are alienated from our kids, and sometimes we may feel forgotten and unappreciated.

but...

for me, that day wasn't today.

i've been alone many a mother's day- sometimes felt forgotten- cried some bitter tears over my failings and faults as a mom...

cuz- GASP- i'm not perfect...

but today i've felt loved.

and that's nice.

especially when you're 60 and have a 4-year-old little girl!

:)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

MOOOOO.ving...

we've moved.

oh, not far...

just across the subdivision, within sight of the old house, 1 minute's drive worth...but light years away.

from north-south orientation to east-west orientation.

from darkness to light.

from cramped quarters to spaaaace.

from low ceilings and small bathrooms to high ceilings and big bathrooms.

from jungle to urban.

from stuffy breathless afternoons to wild breezes at all times of day or night.

just a couple of blocks away!

we've moved.

and i'm so glad.