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Thursday, December 8, 2011

what a difference a year makes

last year at this time, i was organized full-throttle into Christmas time.

gifts bought/made and wrapped.

supplies bought and baking started.

house clean.

christmas guest towels in the powder room.

everything was relaxed, settled, ticking along nicely towards Christmas Eve and Christmas morning.

this year, not so much.

more like lurching towards Christmas, really.

not one present bought- 17 days to go.

nothing wrapped. tree up, but the cats keep destroying it so i've kind of given up keeping it tidy.

the only baking i've done was shortbread (google it) and i've eaten most of that myself.

and you know what's weird about this chaos?

i don't even care.

i am finally beginning to realize that my OC tendencies cannot always control circumstances.

working part-time...driving 3 hours a day...keeping a massive garden in order so as not to lose my vegetables and fruit and new grass...i just don't have the time or energy i had last year!

i can barely keep this little blog up.

and i'm not really getting upset about it.

so, Christmas, bring it on. i'm not ready, and i'm not going to be ready. i am going to focus on each day and each moment that i can- to not stress about what the expectations are, and to simply look into the faces of those i love and be aware, so very aware, that this is really all that i need to do. just love them.

lurching is ok.

somehow things will all be lovely- if we just love.

merry christmas, everybody.