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Thursday, March 29, 2012

purple heart.

i really should get one for this week.

for the first time in 25 years, i took a 5-year-old to school, dropped her off, AND LEFT HER THERE.

and went somewhere else- every. single. day.

i am so much softer- and wiser- than i was when i was 40.

it hurt. it was scary. this child- this precious gift- is my heart. she's been an appendage for 5 and a half years. literally. only 2 nights has she been away from me in her whole life.

for so many nights- 365 times 5 1/2 whatever that is- she has slept beside me.

i have loved her so much better than i did my other 4, just because i'm older. they were the losers, really, although i did my best. one is so foolish when one is young.


i took her to school...(she's just been accelerated in kindergarten for the final sem of the year)

and was sweetly advised by her young teacher that 'we will see how emma does on the playground all by herself today?'

smile and nod. smile and nod.

and walk away with a heart thumping.

and get in the vehicle and drive away.


i should have gotten a purple heart.