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Thursday, April 5, 2012

it's friday...

but sunday's comin'!

the stretch of daily life has, sadly, forced my spiritual meditation this holy week to a bare minimum.

i'm feeling like peter, a bit.

but just when the guilt and gloom overtake me, i think i see HIM gently smiles and - what, giggle?! -  in the quiet inner room of my heart:

'don't you think it's spiritual to feed your kids and guests? to love and care for them as if they were me? to create a home that is warm and safe and - yes- ME-like?'

i duck my head and whisper, 'but i haven't had time my bible as much as i should have, or do all the eastery things that i normally do, or prepare the seder meal i wanted...' blah blah blah

HE smiles again.

'but you've cooked, you've smiled, you've washed the dusty feet of faraway friends, you've disciplined a wayward child, you've sung sweet songs and listened intently to childish prattle and held up under annoyance quite well...' (did i see HIM wink??)

grace. oh, grace.

HE is just so- gracious.

all my failures, my peter-like betrayals, my weariness and slothfulness and foolishness...and HE winks at me?

the inner room of my heart glows with a soft light and the sadness begins to drift away...

it's friday.

thinking of HIM, going through the passion.

unable to wrap my mind around what HE endured for me.

i could never watch 'passion of the christ' twice. almost didn't make it through the one time.

but the other side of the passion is what holds me.


and HE isn't dead.


HE smiles and winks.

 and i hear 'you've got that right!'

ah, grace.